Credit: Andreas Constantinou

Having a client really is like dating. You both enter into a relationship with all kinds of baggage. You both have histories. You both have expectations based on past experiencse, and sometimes you even have trust issues.

Sometimes, one of you has really high expectations because of past relationships, and when that happens, it helps to stop and ask yourself: if something was so great back then, why didn’t it work out?

And just like a romantic relationship, when something goes terribly wrong, often both sides share blame (maybe one a little more than the other), because it takes two to tango. Take apologies, for example: it takes a big person to admit that they’re wrong, but it takes a bigger person to accept that apology, forgive them, and move on with no hard feelings.

You see, even when it’s someone else’s f**ks up, it’s still your problem, and when something is your problem, it becomes your responsibility. And if you don’t accept that responsibility, then you’re just as much to blame as the next guy.

This is the difference between fault, responsibility, and blame. Someone else’s fault is often still your problem and your responsibility, and you’re just as much blame if you don’t live up to that responsibility.

In fact, this is a recurring theme that we see in religion all the time. A perfect being made an imperfect man, but we’re still expected to struggle with those imperfections, partly by improving on those we can, and partly by accepting the limitations of our imperfections — whether they’re our own, or those of others.

And what’s religion for other than giving us an example of how to live our lives better? So maybe it’ll help next time someone falls short of our expectations to take the shortcoming for what it is, accept responsibility for what we got ourselves into with them, and choose to react in a way that reflects and lives up to that responsibility.

You know what my father used to say? “Being with a client is like being in a marriage. Sometimes you get into it for the wrong reasons, and eventually they hit you in the face.”
– Roger Sterling

Dealing with clients really is like dating. It’s so easy to get overly involved with them and lose sight of the big picture.

You take on the client, start over-analyzing them, their culture, and what they’re doing. And then you start obsessing on everything else they could be doing.

You think about what more they could be doing to get the most out of the relationship; about how they can benefit by taking it up a notch, “getting more serious,” and take the relationship to the next level.

But sometimes, the timing just isn’t right. Sometimes, they’re just not ready for anything more serious. And it can be hard to come to terms with that.

Sometimes, they’re just having a good time — enjoying things just the way they are. And if you push it, and start trying to be more serious about their business than they are, you’re just going to push them away.

So the best thing you can do is relax, and try to enjoy the ride, too.

Credit: md_foto

The other day, I was listening to an episode of The Age of Persuasion called Big and Small. One of the things that the host, Terry O’Reilly, touched on was how marketing and advertising agencies fall victim to Stockholm syndrome.

You see, in our eagerness to understand a client’s brand, we live, breath, and eat it, and start seeing it in the very same light that our clients do. We stop seeing the forest from the trees, and start seeing just the one tree.

We end up losing sight of the big picture and how our client’s brand fits into for the average consumer. For the average consumer, our client’s brand is just another tree in the forest. They’re just not that big of a deal.

And our job as marketers isn’t to make consumers see our clients as the most important tree in the forest. Our job as marketers is to help consumers realize that the forest just wouldn’t be the same without that tree — without our client.

But when we fall victim to Stockholm syndrome, we start believing that our client is the most important tree in the forest. And when that happens, we are no longer able to relate to consumers, and that means that we are no longer able to do our job.

Of course, the catch is that if we’re going to do our job and help consumers relate to our clients brand, we’re going to cast our clients in a light that doesn’t make them look like the most important tree in the forest. And how are we supposed to pitch that to our clients? How do we tell them that what they live, eat, and breath isn’t all that much of a big deal after all?

It’s a question that I’ve tweeted. Because aside from the obvious, Donald Draper is an stand-up ad-man. He is honest with his clients and always puts their needs first.

Now, imagine you have to choose between two clients to sign. Suppose there’s a conflict of interest. Let’s call them Eddy and Jack.

You met Eddy first, through a colleague, and then you met Jack, through another colleague. You pitched them both.

Eddy has a good product that isn’t that sexy, but he is really good people. Jack has a pretty sexy product, and it’s about to get even hotter.

Eddy has deadlines and timeframes. Jack is in less of a rush, and hasn’t settled on timeframes.

Eddy’s date comes and goes, and you don’t hear anything. Oh well… You stay in touch with Jack.

Then, at almost the same time, they both decided they want to sign, and they both even pick the same date and time to do so.

What would you do? What would Donald Draper do?